ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
your room smells of hookers.
And success
honey bunches of taint.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
