I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
