Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
