Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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