Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
