I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
