i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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