Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
