the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
