i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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