I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
