how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
