How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
