Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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