Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
