I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
