and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize