Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
