Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
