ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
