Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
