Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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