Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
