Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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