those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
