Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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