Pappa wants mamma naked
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
