Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
