the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
