Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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