Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
