I hope mine doesn't look like that
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize