If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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