Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
