those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize