careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
