somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
