Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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