She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
