video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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