You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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