Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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