who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
