sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize