We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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