I wanna passion pit in your ass
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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