Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
