Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Are we still banned from the library?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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