kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
