I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
