So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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