rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
