Taylor Swift is so right about you.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
