so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
