Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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