Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
