Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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