why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
