Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
