very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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