when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
