Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
love makes seman taste better
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
