I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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