Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
