all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
