did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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