I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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